1. Your friends tell you that you have been acting strange lately, and
then you hit them several times with a sledgehammer.
2. Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places that
you wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from.
3. You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom.
4. You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends
you mail from Iowa asking why you never write.
5. Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to
relieve yourself on it.
6. You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward of
evil dandruff spirits.
7. You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbor for
setting fire to his lawn decorations.
8. Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death.
9. People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl.
10. Your breath smells more and more like squirrel dung each passing day.
11. You laugh out loud during funerals.
12. When your doctor tells you to say ah, you yell out "RAPE! RAPE!"
13. Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you
through that scuba mask.
14. You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've
stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going
to one day seek revenge.
15. You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.

-Continue yourself-

Relatable

16. You repeat the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.
Q. You lose track of consistency.
18. You have failing grades in school, despite not being in any form of education for 20 years.
19. Every commercial on the television reminds you of WTFux.
21. You know all of the alternative chan-sites by heart.
21. You received a schizophrenia diagnosis.
22. You've avoided prison
23. You repeat the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.
25. You swear there was a 20, when there was not.

26. You make frequent visits to your grandmother to ask for money, even though she died 12 years ago.

27. When you find a penny heads-side-up, you rush to shove it down a stranger's shoe.
28. You go outside and awake and bang on a pan every time the clock has a number you like.
29. Every time you see the full moon, you take off all you clothes and ask people for change to buy a wolf mask
30. Your pet's begin to act differently around you, even though you took them to the taxidermist several years ago.

31. Your nipples haven't stopped arguing about beans in chili for the last fifteen hours. The left nipple thinks beans belong in it, the right nipple doesn't. You haven't had any beans in five years.
32. The kind lady at your job stopped giving you cookies. You wonder where her dog went, and you wonder why your freezer has so much meat in it.

33. You notice all the furniture has been glued to the ceiling in a sleepwalking incident.